The Top 19: Tecmo Super Bowl players

Since the latest version of the "Madden" football video game came out yesterday, I thought it would be proper to talk about ... Tecmo.

Even though "Madden" evolved into a great game, it's hard to top the big-time battles, the controllers broken by rageful spikes, the eight-play playbook of Tecmo Super Bowl. Some "Hall of Fame" moments happened while that game was jammed in various Nintendos, whether at my house, the Beast's house, or the dorm rooms of Rider Hall at UNI. (Who goes to class, right?)

Certain teams could be carried by one great player; as you'll see below, the Saints had a counter-punch for every punch you landed against them. Some players ruled the field due to their incredible "rushing power"; others were undone by poor ball control (Lorenzo White, for example). It is no fun to have poor ball control, as I found out in P.E. when I forgot my gym clothes at home ...

So here they are:

The Top 19 Tecmo Super Bowl players

Great players like Dan Marino, Jim Kelly (aka "QB Bills"), Michael Irvin, they don't shine in the Tecmo system. The passing game's success relies on the defense not "calling" the play; few quarterbacks or receivers can make a difference on their own. Those of you who played the game remember the important positions: running back, the upper outside linebacker, a safety, and the upper cornerback. Of course, you can't have a team without a kicker, and this one earned his stripes ...

Fifteen phenomena, in no particular order:

The upper cornerbacks (Rod Woodson, Steelers; Deion Sanders, Falcons; Gill Byrd, Chargers): Call a running play, and let these guys cover the entire field against the pass. I don't have any specific Woodson stories, but Sanders turned the tide for me in the Rider Hall championship (I was down 17-7 when Sanders picked off Montana and I took it to the house ... more on the amazing comeback later) and my brother used Gill Byrd to shut down Warren-Fucking-Moon and my Houston Oilers en route to one of the many Tecmo titles in our house. I guided Moon to five completed passes--two to my guys, three to Byrd. Yikes.

Ronnie Lott, S, 49ers: He was almost as devastating on Tecmo as he was in real life. He was as fast as the corners and was in better position to stop the run. Plus, he's Ronnie Lott, you can't leave a guy who amputated a finger just to keep playing ...

The upper outside linebackers (Tim Harris, Packers; Derrick Thomas, Chiefs; Lawrence Taylor, Giants): These guys were beneficial because they completely eliminated the viability of the play-action bootleg and they snuffed out most running plays at the top of the screen. Plus, they were in the perfect position to block field goals and extra points. Of course, the fact that Tim Harris is probably the best off of the three today says something about the fate of this position.

The unbelievable QBs and WRs (Warren Moon, Oilers; Joe Montana, 49ers; Jerry Rice, 49ers; Andre Rison, Falcons): These guys got the benefit of the doubt 99 times out of 100. I remember playing this guy on my floor my freshman year who always took the Oilers and just threw it deep to any of the WRs and they would come down with it. Weak. It was similar to using the nose tackle and just diving at the QBs immediately after the snap--honorable players don't do that stuff. (Side note: this Oilers guy did not participate when nine of us each took a team and played that full season--something about studying. Nerd.) Montana got the same treatment, and Rice and Rison were known to use a vertical leap of about 84" to snag high passes that surely seemed destined for incompletion or interception. Weak, but worth mentioning.

Great, but not elite, RBs (Thurman Thomas, Bills; Marion Butts, Chargers): My brother was the first person to max out the rushing yardage total (something like 4,191, can't remember) during the Gill Byrd season. And Thurman was the man on a dominant offense. Useless fact about Thurman: We used to call this guy "Texas Toast." He wasn't from Texas (I don't think), and he played in New York, but if you hang around a restaurateur, particularly one who reminds you of the homeliest Bee Gee, you'll identify initials with weird things.

Kick returner extraordinaire (Gil Fenerty, Saints): My brother was way better at Tecmo than me; he would have destroyed the fools on Rider Hall in 1992. Anyway, my bro made Tecmo history in a season game with the Saints. I think I was the Falcons, and I was lighting up the scoreboard with the Red Gun offense. But Jeremy ran not one but TWO kicks back against me with Fenerty, including one late in the fourth quarter to ice the victory. Beast was there; he hadn't been that excited since the time he rented "Over The Top" from the Fruechte boys at Video Connection.

Cult Hero Kicker (Greg Davis, Falcons): I won our Rider Hall Tecmo season thanks to Davis. After the Deion touchdown, I held my opponent and forced a punt. There wasn't much time left, but I managed to get the ball to the SanFran 30. I had time for one more play (something like 20 seconds, but in Tecmo time that's nothing), so I went for the game-tying FG. Out trots Davis. The snap, the rush comes ... blocked.

The ball bounces around, flirting with the sideline, college dudes cheering at the top of their lungs all the while, hoping the guy who went 15-1 in the regular season would bite the dust. Unfazed, I maneuver the player under my control, who happens to be the kicker, toward the ball. And miraculously, he scoops it up.

And equally surprising, he's in "Excellent" condition! And he's gone. Touchdown. Falcons win the whole thing (we all took NFC teams, so the NFC title game was our Super Bowl), 21-17. Greg Davis is forever enshrined in the Video Game Hall of Fame. My GPA that semester: 2.17. Those forecasts of academic probation were WAY off.

OK, let's get to the Final Four:

Christian Okoye, RB, Chiefs: Playing Tecmo with the NES Max controller was hilarious, especially if you used Okoye. Holding down the turbo button as you ran the ball with Okoye meant the defenders pretty much instantly flew in the air. On one particular occasion, one of my Rider Hall boys used Okoye to return a punt. He caught it at his own 10, held down the turbo button, and just ran straight ahead. Touchdown, 90 yards. No one even got the opportunity to lock up with Okoye and wrestle, it was just pure pinball action. That alone is Final Four worthy.

Barry Sanders, RB, Lions: Too fast. Was the perfect player to use the stop-and-go move with, as it would force defenders to downshift to low gear while Sanders would resume top speed almost immediately.

Bo Jackson, RB, Raiders: He was like Okoye, only faster. One of my friends from Rider Hall once rushed for 1,000 yards in a game with Jackson. Of course, this same friend, Jim Wahrer, also beat one of the upperclassmen on the floor without running an offensive play. As soon as he got the ball, he would punt, then hold the other guy on downs, force a punt, punt himself, and so on. Eventually, he forced a fumble on one of his punts, and ran it in for a TD. Game over.

Randall Cunningham (aka "QB Eagles"): While Bo was incredible, you could call one of his running plays every time, which aided the run defenses on other run plays. Randall had the run/pass option that was virtually unstoppable. Plus, Tecmo severely overrated Fred Barnett and Calvin Williams, meaning that Keith Jackson wasn't the only receiving option. Nothing was better than dropping back to pass, juking four would-be sackers, then bait your opponent toward the line only to float a TD to Barnett. That's Tecmo Bowl, man.