I'm usually a little more prompt with the homily, but last night, embittered by the lack of surprise in Super Tuesday returns, I put on my best pantsuit, hit the bar scene/campaign trail, drank too much booze, and cried strategically. Understandably, I was a bit uncooperative with the alarm clock this morning.
OK, let's get away from Super Tuesday for a second, and reflect back to Super Sunday. Below you'll find the video of Randy Moss catching a touchdown pass to give the Patriots a brief 14-10 lead.
One question: what the hell is Moss doing with that celebratory gesture? It looks like he's doing the breaststroke. Is he taunting Mark Spitz?
(Equally interesting to me: in the comments section on this video's YouTube page, some user talks shit to the Patriots by quoting Thom Yorke. Because when I think about smackdown scribes, I first think of Thom Yorke.)
Now below you'll find a celebration (well, slide ahead to about the 3:30 mark, and then you'll find it):
Or you could go with the ol' Jeff Thomason standby:
T!
One more thing about Super Bowl XLII: Ellie shouldn't be so modest. Yeah, the Tyree catch was miraculous, but what's lost in all the Tyree love is that Ellie somehow shook off a 300-pound lineman who had him dead-to-rights, and then got his shit together in time to heave the ball downfield. I'm sure a part of Tiki died inside at that very moment. The rest of his soul likely expired when he had to interview the victorious Manning the next morning. I love it!
I think the main reason that Tyree was able to make that great grab was that he was defended by Rodney Harrison before the whistle. We all know Rodney is at his best after the whistle.
Five questions after Super Tuesday:
1. Can't McCain get that left cheek of his filed down to match the other one? (Although the imbalanced face is a small price to pay to beat down cancer.)2. If Mitt Romney wants to throw away money, do you think he would pay me to say nice things about him? (That will be as effective as anything else he does from here on out.)
3. Charles Gibson (or his ABC producers) once had to float Mike Huckabee money for a new shirt? Really?
4. Will I cry if I find myself voting for Hillary in November?
5. Obama can't universally beat that shrill, calculating politician in today's political climate?
Also, it will be tough to shake the '08 buzzword — change — especially since an energized Huckabee will be on the street corners begging for it to keep his train a-rollin'.
Why don't I own a snowblower?
Evidence that 15-year-old boys are blinded by horniness: one such lad was hittin' this...
Any friend of my son is a fuck of mine.
Here's the story, from the Orlando Sentinel:
Altamonte Springs woman accused of having sex with 15-year-old
by Rene Stutzman, Sentinel Staff Writer
SANFORD — A 46-year-old Altamonte Springs woman is in the Seminole County Jail, accused of having a sexual relationship with a 15-year-old boy.
Kathleen Louise Schulte was arrested last night by Altamonte Springs police.
Department spokesman Officer Tim Hyer said she and the 15-year-old boy, a friend of her son, said they were in love.
Hyer said he was not sure how long the two had been sexually involved but that a law enforcement investigation began in November.
Schulte was being held without bail on a charge of sexual assault of a minor.
At least they were in love. (Mmmpfh.)
And speaking of fucking a kid, how about another Florida fortysomething who was conscientious enough to seat-belt in the Busch Light but not a toddler in the back seat?
Driver straps in case of beer, not baby
From the article:
In a purse belonging to Williams, the deputy found two metal pipes commonly used to smoke drugs.
No!
At least they released the toddler to her mother...who happened to be riding in the back seat with her unrestrained daughter. (?????)
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