Not your average balancing skill game

Our son has a lot of toys. We are on a mission to get him in the Guinness Book of World Records for "Most Little People Toys in a Single Room." He has fire engines, he has numerous little cars, he has a set of plastic golf clubs. (Start 'em young.)

But things have taken an unfortunate turn: my son enjoys playing Blockhead!

What is Blockhead, you say? Why, it's Parker Brothers balancing skill game. It's like Jenga, only conceived during a series of acid trips with Pink Floyd's Atom Heart Mother playing in the background. Instead of removing and replacing rectangular wooden blocks, you are forced to balance things shaped like pegs, hearts, arches, and letters such as "L" and the Nazi "S." I have taken a picture of the box as a visual supplement — dig the color scheme.

Look at these assholes.

The idea is to stack these pieces one at a time without causing the tower of shapes to come tumbling down. Sounds like a wonderful developmental tool for my son, right? And this game has been a warhorse. I've had this game as long as I can remember; I think you can see the ring from a beer can on the dad's face, which tells you this game emerged from the vault during my college years.

But this is the UG — let's look at what's wrong with the game.

First off, if the picture on the box is any indication, it appears only losers play this game. As a youngster, I was too naive to realize this fact, and my parents never warned me. In college, I was too out of sorts to know or care about this fact. Now that I'm older and wiser (and not hosting keg parties), I can be proactive with my son rather than reactive.

In the example pictured on the box, we see Dad, Brother, and Sister playing the game. Where's Mom? That's what the kids have been wondering for years! Dad hasn't the heart to tell them that Mom hooked up with a new family, where she joins her new husband and stepkids in a rousing game of Run Yourself Ragged (see picture) while wearing cool clothes.

As someone familiar with Blockhead!, I can tell you that the picture on the box tells one of two possible stories: this game was staged, as I've never seen a legitimate game of Blockhead! reach such a climax (in other words, boredom sets in long before this many pieces are stacked), or these guys are real nerds who actually are this intrigued by Blockhead!, and should be terminated to avoid risk of further procreation.

To be fair, Brother is employing a decent "psyche-out" on Daddy-O by leaning in nice and close, threatening to scratch Dad's cornea with his incredible shirt collar. I'm guessing Dad is impervious to this sort of distraction; even though Brother must be causing quite a commotion with all that mouth-breathing, Dad has a nice sound-shield of hair covering the earpiece. If Mr. Blonde had taken this guy hostage in Reservoir Dogs, he would have had to cut off something else — the ear is well concealed.

Bottom line is this: yes, as a parent, I worry about the things to which my son is exposed. I'm only thinking of his well-being. Perhaps it's time to "lose" Blockhead! But what will occupy his gaming time?

Aha! Here's a harmless game:


On second thought, let's just work on that golf swing.