Answering the Mail #2

Atonement sucked. How did it get so many Academy Award nominations? I couldn't even watch the whole thing. — Tim, Iowa City

Chris: Um, didn't see it? Beck?

Beck: Negative, Ghostrider.

Chris: OK, um, Rev.?

The Rev. Ug: Hell no. [leaves room]

Chris: Matt T.?

[Matt T, laid up by tuberculosis, points to his Facebook review. 3-1/2 stars, with the comment "I think James McAvoy is a candy ass."]

Chris: Hmmm. Doesn't really answer Tim's question. Beast?

Beast (voice muffled): I loved it!

Chris: You sound weird.

Beast: ..........

Chris (squinting): That's odd. [grabs at Beast's face]

Beast: Back off!

[Chris pulls Beast mask off the Rev.]

Chris: You have a Beast mask?

The Rev: I got it from one of the Diamond Dave's waitresses.

Chris: Where is Beast?

The Rev: Three possibilities. One, he's getting ready for work, undoubtedly a good half-hour after he was supposed to show up. Two, he's playing vids online instead of going to work. Three, he's watching Atonement and weeping.

Chris: We cannot answer this question with much certainty. However, I might point out that the Academy that chose to throw nominations at Atonement is the same Academy that fell all over itself to suck off The English Patient and gave Best Picture to Shakespeare in Love.

Tim, you should have been watching what I was watching this weekend: American Gangster and No Country for Old Men. That I can say with certainty.